And Watch Me Rise Again...

I lift weights now.  Did you know that?  Me...Angie.  Power lifter!  Hahaha!  Not quite yet, but I will be one day.  That you can take to the bank.  For right now, I can do a little more than this over here, but not too much.

Every time I raise that bar over my head or curl the weight in my hand, I wonder how it is I got to this place...where it is not inconceivable that I can lift that weight...repeatedly.  Because those of you who know me in real life, not just on this virtual reality called my blog, can attest that I've never remotely been someone that ANYONE would mistake for a weightlifter.

But you know what?  People change.  We experience things in life that knock us out of our complacency...that force us to look at who we are...and change...grow.

We rise again.

Better.  Stronger.  More like we were made to be.

This is the last post based on the song Who Am I by Casting Crowns.  I heard that song 2 weeks ago tonight in concert.  I have to tell you...I've heard that songs hundreds of times.  Crowns is one of my favorite bands...have been for years.  And this song isn't new.  I can sing it word for word, know all of the harmony lines.  But 14 days ago when I heard it, something in it reached right into my spirit and ministered to me.  These lines in particular...

Who am I
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.

And over the past two weeks, I think I've figured out what God wants me to know...what He was saying to me that night, and has been saying to me from the first moment that I met Him.

Angie, you are Mine. I know you.  I've saved you. And I love you.  Just like you are right now in this minute.  Get UP girl...it's time to move on.

I have held on to insecurity because of my body image...because of past relationships and hurts...because of probably hundreds of reasons that I am not going to take the time to name here.  But what I've really discovered over the past few weeks of this song marinating in me is that who I WAS is not the definition of who I AM, nor of who I WILL BE.  And God loves me just as much right now as He did when this journey began 2 years ago...and just as much as He will when I reach the end goal of weight loss.  His love is not dependent on me...on my success...on my failure...on my faithfulness...on anything I bring to the relationship.  His love is dependent on HIM ALONE.

And because of that, I don't need to be insecure...afraid of failure...afraid of success (oddly enough!)...afraid of anything.

So yeah...I lift weights.  You know why?  Because it's time to be who I was meant to be.  It's time to rise again.  God and I have things to accomplish in my life...and it's time to get on with it.