Don't Usually Post Twice In a Day, But....

...this is something I think is worth it!  I wrote this note on my Facebook Notes page in mid-April, right before my birthday...way before I started my blog. (In fact, one person who read it at the time suggested that I start a blog then...but that came later!)  This post deals with something that some of my friends (and faithful readers!) are really struggling with today in particular...it's about having a change of mindset and habits...and not making anymore excuses for not doing so. 

So for those ladies...and for whoever else may benefit from this... here's my heart!  I'm praying for you and hoping that you'll find the girl you used to be is SO GONE...SOON!!!!


"She's So GONE!"
I will be 44 in two weeks.  Two weeks from today in fact.  And I still watch Disney movies.  There was a premiere of one last night that I really enjoyed. " Lemonade Mouth" doesn't sound like it'd be a winner...but it so is.  One song in particular in this musical about growing up and finding who you really are and who matters to you really spoke to me.  It's called She's So Gone.  Here are the lyrics...

Insecure in her skin. Like a puppet, a girl on a string.
Broke away, learned to fly.
If you want her back, gotta let her shine.
So it looks like the joke’s on you.
Cuz the girl that you thought you knew…

CHORUS…
She’s so gone.
That’s so over now.
She’s so gone.
You won’t find her around.
You can look, but you won’t see
The girl I used to be.
Cuz she’s so gone.

Here I am. This is me.
And I’m stronger than you ever thought I’d be.
Are you shocked?  Are you mad?
That  you’re missing out on who I really am.
Now it looks like the joke’s on you.
Cuz the girl that you thought you knew…

CHORUS…
She’s so gone away
Like history
She’s so gone
Baby this is me…

CHORUS…
She’s so gone….
She’s so gone…
You can look but you won’t see
The girl I used to be.
Cuz she’s so gone.
She’s so gone…
Gone, gone, gone.

These lyrics speak to me on SO many levels!  The first way I took the song was the obvious and intended one...that any guy who looks at you and wants you to conform to his expectations of you or what he wants you to be without knowing and respecting you for who you really are is missing out. I firmly believe that. And it doesn't matter if you're dating, engaged, or even married...the thought is still true and powerful.  God made women to be who they are...and men should honor and respect that if they're worth keeping!

But then it hit me that there is this a whole other meaning of this song for me.  There is a "girl I used to be" who REALLY is gone....and I'm so glad.

The girl who used to let eating control her social life?  Gone.
The girl who used to think there was nothing she could do to lose weight effectively? Gone.
The girl who used to stay sedentary at home instead of working on her goals? Gone.
The girl who used to look in the mirror and hate what she saw?  Gone.
The girl who used to believe people looked at her and felt sorry for her.  Gone.
The girl who used to wonder if people were laughing about her as she passed? Gone.

This whole journey for me is not about losing weight.  It's about losing the mindset that had me believing I am less than what God made me to be.  This is about making a lifestyle change and a change of mind.  I have lost so much more than 60 pounds.  I've lost the belief that there is nothing I can do about my situation.  There IS something I can do...I can be whoever I want to be, the woman that God made me to be.  I can control what I eat, how much I eat, how much I exercise.  I just hadn't been.  But no more excuses.  It's not the way I'm supposed to be living and I refuse to do it any longer.

So...
You can look, but you won't see the girl I used to be
Cuz she's SO GONE!