Yesterday was filled with those little things, actually. My friend and I went to a baseball game in D.C....not because I'm a Nats fan...but because I'm a HUGE fan of the band that was playing a free concert after the game! Instead of driving down to the city, we decided to take the metro, and there began a series of little moments that just totally made my day.
When we arrived at the metro station in Greenbelt, I began looking for a space in the parking lot close to the entrance, and naturally couldn't find one. (Hardly ever do!) So, we walked a bit to get to the train area. But I noticed that I was able to hold a conversation with my friend without breathing heavily as we were making our way to the station. And I matched her pace...decidedly quicker than I used to walk, trust me!
Next, as my friend and I entered through the turnstiles I had another little "wow" moment. I used to have to turn sideways to fit through those. I started to do that this time, too, but noticed as I was angling myself to do that...I didn't need to! Wow. That was cool! I cleared the entrance walking forward...which truly amazed me. I know how much weight I've lost, but a lot of it seems focused in my upper body...not so obvious from my hips down. That has been a source of frustration for me, actually, so to have this happen was quite a surprise. A very nice one!
The same thing happened when we got to the stadium that happened at the metro station. I was able to go through that turnstile facing forward, too. We arrived early and got to go down to the field (AMAZING for a baseball fan...just saying!) to meet players and get pictures taken. I didn't really know anyone on the team, since this wasn't really a team I normally follow, but the chance to document me standing on the warning track of a professional baseball field was one that I would never pass up. And I didn't yesterday. My friend took a picture of me that I quickly posted on my Facebook page for posterity. And I got some immediate and wonderful comments about how good I was looking from my Facebook friends and family! When I look at the picture, I can honestly see a big difference, too. I'm just really not as big as I used to be! (That's now my new profile picture, btw...!!!)
The nice side trip to the field was a good distraction from the real moment of truth on this adventure...the one I was dreading and hoping to avoid as long as possible. The stadium seat!
We've talked about this a little bit before. Being a big girl has caused me to miss out on a LOT of things that I love, like riding roller coasters because the bars and belts don't quite clear my tummy. I've had to embarrass myself on airplanes by asking the flight attendant for a seatbelt extender...all the while hoping and praying that the seat next to me remained unoccupied so I could lift the arm rest and have some extra room for my big backside! Stadium seats fit in this category for me. They are just not built for big girls. Not at all! I have not been to too many sporting events lately, mostly because I hate having to squeeze my hiney into a seat that just isn't built for someone my size. (It should tell you how badly I wanted to see this concert that I was willing to go sit in those seats!)
We made our way up to our seats, found them easily, and when it could be avoided no longer, I sat down. And was TOTALLY shocked. I FIT!!! Really...I FIT!!!!!!!!! Yes, it was tight, but I could still get my backside in the seat without spilling over the sides. I could move freely in the seat, given the tight quarters of a stadium. I was sitting comfortably in a stadium seat for the first time since I was a teenager at Memorial Stadium watching my O's play! I wanted to cry. I didn't...not on the outside. But on the inside...WHAT tears of JOY I shed!
I think we don't often realize as big people just how much FUN we give up in life by being large. Because if we truly did, I believe there's no way we'd tolerate it for as long as we do before doing something to become healthy and average-sized people. Yes, I've been to stadiums as a large woman...and I've come home with bruises on my hips...and my ego...because of those darn stadium seats! But NO MORE!!! That part of my life is DONE...and there won't ever be a repeat of it, I can promise you! It feels WAY TOO GOOD to do what I did yesterday.
Yesterday, for the first time in as long as I can remember, I fit! Literally and figuratively. I could do everything I wanted to do yesterday, from walking long distances to and around the stadium, to climbing stairs, to sitting in close stadium seating...even DANCING during the post-game concert! Why on earth would I EVER let myself go back to the limitations I had in the past as a big girl after tasting the FREEDOM I had yesterday?!?!
You know the answer to that question, don't you? I won't. Not ever. Come join me in my freedom dance! Life is good when your backside fits the stadium seat! So, so good!!!
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