And I'm scared.
The closer it gets, the more terrified I'm becoming, in fact. Why? Because I've made a big deal about this. Especially about finishing it. And until a few hours ago, I wasn't really sure that I could. But now I am.
I did my last big workout before the "BIG DAY" tonight. I'll work out a little bit tomorrow and Saturday. But Sunday morning is my next big workout...the 5K! So, since my gym randomly closed forever this week, I decided that I'd train the actual 5K course. In my mind I thought that walking it myself today would be a good preparation for me...I'd see where the good spots for running are, if I choose to run any of it...but more than anything, I'd see if I've got enough in me to finish this race. I'm absolutely positive that I'm going to be dead last finishing...unless my husband and Angie take pity on me and let me cross ahead of them (we're walking it together). But I NEED TO FINISH. I've made this a milestone moment for myself and I need to know that I can finish this race.
So as I started out I was nervous but hopeful. After all, I walked a full 5K last week and survived it. And then came the hill. It's a big hill friends...right at the beginning of this race course. How unfair is that?!?!
One thing you should know about all of my workouts before we continue this evening's story...it takes me about a half mile on the treadmill to get my knee loosened up and working correctly. I limp and hurt for that first half mile or so, and then I get some relief. This is true every single time I step foot on the treadmill. Well, that first half mile included this daunting hill!!! And I almost...ALMOST...turned myself back around and got in my car to go home. I actually did stop four times walking up that hill because of my knee screaming at me that this was a bad idea. But then I decided to trust my body.
I've been working out in the gym for 5 full months now. I know...I KNOW...how my body works. This is no mystery to me. I know that at about a half mile in, my knee is going to be fine...I just have to push past the initial pain to get to the good feeling on the other side of it. Today was a moment that I needed to push, not listen to the knee for that first half mile. I had something to prove to myself.
And guess what? Sure enough...about a half mile in...right after I finished with that insane hill and made it to the peaceful flat land at the top of it...my knee loosened up. Just like it always does. I finished that entire course. In fact, I did it in a much quicker time than I anticipated that I might. I couldn't walk the last part of the course because soccer teams were playing on it, but I know I've got that last 1/2 mile. It's not going to be an issue for me. This race is MINE!
So the lesson learned...trust your body. Listen to it. It's got it's own patterns and rhythms that its Maker gave it and that you've really learned over time. If you allow yourself, you can learn and trust what your body is able to do. When we listen to our heads...our fears...our insecurities, we drown out the TRUTH that our body whispers in our ear.
"I can do this, Angie. Give me a chance to loosen and I won't let you down. You're ready for this."
That's what mine whispered in my ear today. And I'm so glad I listened!
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