Sunday, February 26, 2012
Selective Editing and Recall...
But there are times that the message isn't positive or helpful at all. Perhaps the words of a well-meaning, but decidedly curmudgeonly grandfather, that you "really are getting fat and ought to watch your weight" stick in your mind like they do in mine! No? They don't come to your mind? Well, I'm glad for you. But that particular comment from about 15 years ago is on repeat in my brain. And sometimes, I just can't get it to stop playing!
Chatting with one of my newer friends this week, this idea came out of our conversation: selective editing and recall can be very, very important tools in our lives. This was very liberating for me. This one idea means that I don't have to have my grandfather's words on a recall loop playing round and round in my brain if I don't want to! That's POWERFUL! That's FREEING! That's me deciding WHO and WHAT gets the right to be replayed in my life.
I don't have to replay all the negative crud that people unload on me. Let me restate that.
I don't have to keep reliving and replaying negative things in my mind.
Whether it's about me or not, or just about life in general...that kind of negativity is harmful to my life...the one I'm re-creating. It's not that I don't want to be supportive if people need to tell me tough things. It's not that at all. I don't mind when friends...or even strangers...feel the need to unload. I'm a great listener and sounding board. I even really appreciate the opportunity most times. I don't mind hearing honest things about my own life, either...if they're coming from people I love and who I KNOW love me and want what's best for me.
BUT...I don't have to replay it again and again in my mind. I can selectively edit and recall!!! That's powerful. I can choose what I bring to consciousness in my mind.
And so, Punky (the name I called my grandfather...and he called me...appropriate, huh?!?)...NO MORE! I know you're gone now...you said those words years ago! But now, I'm letting go of them. Selective recall lets me. And I won't be replaying them anymore in my mind. I am NOT fat...I know you said it because you were concerned about me...but you should have found another way to express that. You really should have. And because you didn't, I choose not to continue to remember it and beat myself up with it anymore.
Friends...my encouragement to you is that you do the same! Choose wisely what you play on the replay loop in your head. Fill it with wonderful thoughts and ideas...happy, positive, upbeat things about yourself and others. Remember with joy the amazing things about you.
And then...let the rest go.
Go ahead...you have my permission to selectively edit and recall! :-)