Milestone Alert....

YES!!  YES!! YES!! YES!!

(and for those keeping track...that's 78 pounds down!!!)

Be Still...

Steven Curtis Chapman...one of my favs!

Steven Curtis Chapman is one of my very favorite singers.  He has been for a long time, but I really developed a new appreciation for his artistry  and ministry today through one of his songs.  Wanted to share part of it with you...

The song is called Be Still and Know, and here's the second verse:

Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He is faithful
Consider all that He has done
Stand in awe and be amazed
And know that He will never change
Be still...

My, How a Day Changes Things...

Loving the ice!!!

<----That lovely image over there is my left leg encased in ice after Angie did her best work on it this morning.  I'm heading back to my ortho next week for some new x-rays...and hopefully a new game plan for treating this silly knee!

I'll be honest...I'm pretty bummed.  And I'm in a LOT of pain right now.  (The initial freeze from this morning wore off...I'm icing again at home even as I type this!) My training schedule is really going to take a hit from this.  It already has, truth be told.  Since the flare up a few weeks back, I haven't been able to do the distances on the treadmill or the bike that I could do before this recent setback.  It's time to figure out what's going on inside that knee that we can't see from the outside.

At first today, I was pretty discouraged about all this.  But reaching out to some of the great, supportive people in my community that I shared in the last post really helped my attitude tremendously!  It's put my mind at ease to know that this is going to slow down my progress a bit, but it isn't going to stop it...and it isn't going to undo what's already been achieved...not completely, anyway!  I'm seeing it more for what it is...just another bump in the road that has to be navigated.  So I'm doing it in the most positive and upbeat way I know how.

Of course...if anyone has some Percoset to give me...that'd help, too!!  :-)

We Were Not Meant To Live Alone...

One of the best I've read!

Besides the Bible, one of the best books I've ever read is Rick Warren's The Purpose Driven Life.  In fact, I re-read it every so often just to fully digest some of the messages in there and do a gut-check on how I'm living out my beliefs.  One thing that really speaks to me in here is his assertion that we were not meant to live alone.  We were created to be communities - to live in fellowship with God and with each other.  This is really powerful for me right now in this journey to the New Angie...the one who is healthy in all areas of her life.  Because, you see, I can't do this alone!

Right now, I'm being mentored, supported, and inspired by some AMAZING people...and they've impacted my journey to better health in ways that they may not know.

Checking Back In On Some Things...

The first two bags packed!

Update #1:  On Paying It Forward

I've never been one to put off anything for long...except grading papers, but let's not go there!  I figured while the "Dara Maclean Motivation" was still fresh in my mind, I'd better take advantage of it.  And boy did I!  The grand total...10 bags of clothes to bless another woman's life!

This has me thinking some things...

1.  I had WAY too many clothes!
2.  Clothes in trash bags are heavy...that was great exercise lugging them out of my bedroom and into my car...hey, does that count as a workout?!
3.  I HAD WAY TOO MANY CLOTHES!!!

You Can't Run When You're Holding Suitcases...

I love this Dara Maclean song, but today it's becoming even more meaningful to me as I take on a task that is LONG overdue.  What, you might ask, am I doing today?

Conquering my fear!

Let me explain.  A few weeks ago, I wrote a post called Paying It Forward about the blessing I received when someone gave me bags and bags of smaller size clothing that I needed, because she herself is in the process of weight loss and had shrunk out of her old clothes.  I was challenged by that to do likewise and find someone who can use the bags of clothes I have that no longer fit me.  Well, I've found someone.  Or, honestly, a friend of mine did and pointed her out to me.  I am very excited to be able to bless this woman as I was blessed by my friend.  That's not what the fear is.

The fear is this...if I give away ALL of my "big girl" clothes, what happens if I need them again?

Swimming Laps...

No...I'm not that good...not yet!

...is VERY hard work!  Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!  But it's also great exercise!  My entire body is screaming at me today.  And I only swam 15 of them!  BUT...that's 15 more than I've done in about 30 years or so, I'm guessing.  I've been in the water working out for about 15 months now, but I don't swim laps as part of that.  Well...I didn't used to anyway!  Guess that's not true anymore after today!

This is all part of me trying to be more intentional in planning my workouts so that they become routine and not subject to being easily tossed aside when I'm under stress like last week.  Day 1 would have to be called a success by anybody's standards, I think!  I spent some time looking up the benefits of swimming laps versus the other things I've been doing in the water and decided that the early week water workout will be mostly based on laps from now on.  I had no idea how many I might actually do since I'm not a particularly strong swimmer.  I surprised myself with 15...although I really think I'm paying for that now!  I may have to either match that or back it down a bit instead of increasing it quickly, depending on whether I can even move tomorrow or not!

Time For a New Default...

Time to do a schedule check-up!

I posted my weekly weight update this morning and was once again grateful that we DON'T actually get what we deserve often in life!  With the amount of fast food I consumed this week...and the much lower than normal amount of working out I did, I'd say I'm pretty blessed to have only gained one pound!  But as I reviewed my posts for the week, I also noticed something I wanted to share because it may help us all on this journey...

Many, many times when people ask how I'm losing this weight and I tell them diet and exercise, the very next words I hear are, "I know I should exercise, but I just never find the time."  I smile, because that's a feeling I used to have myself.  I usually come back with something like, "Just start moving a little more each day and you'll surprise yourself at how you make the time."  And honestly, I DO believe that.  Exercise is addicting!  It's gotta be something with the endorphins it releases...but it comes to the point that it really does feel AMAZING...and then you make the time in your schedule so you can get the "fix" it brings!

Missed a Few Workouts...

...which ended up meaning I really missed a LOT! 

Went back to the gym today for the first time since last Saturday.  I did a few workouts this week, but not in the gym, mostly because of my schedule.  What I discovered is that working out outside of the gym doesn't work my body nearly as hard.  My weight has been fairly stable, which is good, but something else suffered...my cardio fitness!

Today, I intended to do a full workout, but could only manage about 1/2 of what I'd normally do.  Mostly, that's because of my left knee tightening up the longer I worked.  It was not the "push through it" kind of pain...so I didn't.  (I'm icing it as I write this!) But as I measured my heart rate during the workout, I found a MUCH higher heartbeat for activities that wouldn't normally push my heart rate that high.  What that means is I lost a measure of my cardio fitness...in the span of 6 days!

Lesson learned?  Never go 6 days again without a HARD workout!  Hope it's not going to take too long to get it back!  I'll keep you updated...because there's sure to be a workout tomorrow!  Can't take too many steps backward in this journey!

Finishing Strong...

My pedometer...sadly!

Recently, my school system joined in the Virgin Healthmiles program. Funny how when I started my own journey to better health and fitness, my workplace started encouraging and rewarding that in its employees!  Think Someone was trying to tell me something?!?!

To say that some of us (uh...me!) have become a little obsessed with the number of steps on our pedometers would be a slight understatement! We can challenge each other as individuals or as teams to  some friendly competitions.  I've participated in 3 so far.  I won 1 of them...and lost the other 2!

I'm so incredibly competitive that it's almost a very negative thing for me. It's really something I have to pay very close attention to in myself, because I get too caught up in it sometimes. I've learned how to lose gracefully over the years...because I've had a lot of practice at it...but I still think losing stinks!  In the latest competition, over 1500 employees participated.  We were placed on teams randomly and the 28-day challenge was for the highest average steps per team. 

"When Life Gives You Lemons...

...you better find the sugar, too...or your lemonade is gonna be NASTY!"  That's how one of my favorite 10 year olds answered that a couple of years ago.  I remember laughing and laughing at the time...and just a few seconds ago when I typed it, too!  But really, how profound a thought is this?!



Life DOES give us lemons.  Bad things happen. People treat us badly. Schedules get interrupted. We get sick and injured unexpectedly.  And it's really easy just to say the common ending to that phrase...you make lemonade.  But seriously, if you make your lemonade with just lemon juice squeezed into water, I'm not coming to you when I'm thirsty!  REAL lemonade has some sugar in it, too.  The BEST lemonade (Thank you God for Chick-Fil-A!) has a BUNCH!!!

So what did my 10 year old friend mean?  Don't just deal with your lemons...find what's GOOD about your new situation and THEN make your lemonade!

You Gotta Have Faith...

Yeah, I can hear George Michael singing that song in my head now!  Sorry...didn't mean to take us on that particular ride this evening!  But I've been thinking a lot about faith tonight.  Mainly, because I had to teach little people about it at Vacation Bible School...but also because I really am figuring out that in my journey to the New Angie, faith plays a huge role!


Tonight I taught the kids who came to my VBS room a Bible story about the faith of the Roman Centurion...the absolute belief he had that Jesus is who He says He is...can do what He says He can do.  I have that kind of faith.  It's developed over time since I met him 29 years ago and every time I see Him come through for me it is strengthened.  But there's more to that faith story.

Rethinking "Deserving"....

US Women's National Team 2011

The dictionary defines "deserve" like this:  to merit, be qualified for, or have a claim to (reward, assistance, punishment, etc.) because of actions, qualities, or situation.  It's the last part of that definition that has always bothered me.  Are we really qualified for things because of qualities we possess?  Can we merit or have claim to things on the basis of our situation?

Didn't Used to Like This...

Me with Dara Maclean

Not going to concerts...LOVE that!  I mean getting my picture taken!  I used to hate it in fact!  I've rarely ever seen a picture of myself that I like.  I am getting a little more open to having my picture taken, though.  Like  this one last night.  It's pretty clear that I'm getting smaller in this picture.  With 76 pounds gone, I'm kinda liking what I'm seeing a bit more.  Not a double chin anymore.  There's actually a defined waistline here..with a slight bit of space between us, even though we are hugging!  Wow!!! Vanity?  Probably a little bit.  (Gonna have to watch that!)  But really, more than anything...GRATITUDE!!!  I have a lot more to lose...but what I've already lost is evident.  And it feels SO GOOD!!

Learning New Things Every Day....

No...not me.  Not YET! 

So, last night I DID go to the gym and worked out.  I actually did 3.6 miles on the bike in 10 minutes...a leisurely pace that opened up my knee a bit, but didn't overly stress it.  It felt good to be on the bike since I wasn't planning on doing it at all.  But with Angie there working out with me, I knew if I totally trashed the knee she'd be right there to help if I needed it, so I gave it a shot... with her blessing!  Can I tell you how WONDERFUL it is to have your PT become your great friend and training partner?!?!  She's a HUGE blessing in my life!

Perspective...

I had the opportunity to chat with a friend online today.  Speaking with her helped me put a few things into perspective.

Not All Steps Are Forward...

R.I.C.E. is how I spent my night!

So that picture over there....that's my left knee tonight.  It's wrapped in an ace bandage for compression.  It's elevated and resting.  And there's ice under my knee to help ease the pain.  (That hasn't happened quite yet, btw!) Your typical R.I.C.E. night!

Everyone Has a Trigger...

This was the trigger...my personal NIGHTMARE!

Many people have asked me since this journey came to light and the weight began to fall off of my body why I didn't begin it much earlier.  This is a very fair question and I never mind being asked, because I've discovered something important about the answer that I want to share with you in case you haven't gotten there yet in your own journey.

Everyone has a trigger. 

Paying It Forward...

Today, a friend of mine who is in the midst of her own highly successful quest for good health and weight loss, offered to "pay it forward" by giving me some of the clothes that she's now far too tiny to wear.  She began her quest at just about the place where I have arrived now, and she wanted to bless me by sharing what she no longer needs.  Her reason?  She has had it "paid forward" to her, too, and relished the opportunity to do the same.

It's the Little Things...

I had a few reasons to celebrate this morning.  Nothing huge, but what I'm learning is that it's often the little things that mean a lot.

I was away from the gym and pool for much of this week, and while I did intentionally try to increase my walking outdoors, I still didn't have much hope that I had lost any weight.  In fact, I was fairly sure that I was going to see a gain on the scale, not only because of the lack of cardio exercise, but also the INCREDIBLE food they fed us! When I stepped on the scale this morning, though, I had lost a pound.  Now a pound by itself isn't much, I know.  But for those of you keeping track, this pound helps me hit a really nice number...75!!!  I have lost 75 pounds in a little over a year!

So I took my shower after weighing myself, feeling really good about that single pound, but then something really cool happened when I got out.  While drying myself off, I realized that the bath towel wrapped completely around me.  For most of you, that's probably got you scratching your head and wondering if the lack of sleep I've suffered for much of this week has somehow affected my brain!  But if you're a big girl like me, you'll understand this.  Bath towels can dry us off...but they don't ever wrap around us.  Ever.  And the ends never meet, much less overlap.  Bath towels just don't fit when you're overweight.  Except that now, mine does.  A little thing?  Yes.  A huge accomplishment?  DEFINITELY!

Hope your day is filled with many little things that make it GREAT!!

Balance...

Angie...balancing!

I've spoken to you a lot about Angie.  No...not me!  (Although admittedly, since I AM the subject of this blog, I do talk about myself a lot!)  The other Angie...my physical therapist...and one of my best friends.  That's her over there in that picture...the one who's balancing on her partner's hands.  Amazing, isn't it?  You think it's impressive in a picture, you ought to see it in person!  Normal people just can't do these things!

REALLY....????

The other day one of my Facebook friends (who I hope is also reading this!) mentioned to me that she could imagine me training for a triathalon.  I very quickly responded with a Old Angie typical response...sorta like "Yeah...NO!"  I mean, what could she POSSIBLY be thinking?  I am a 44 year old, out of shape, severely overweight woman who can at times barely walk!  How on EARTH could a triathalon be anywhere in my future?!?!?!

But what if it is?

Never Met a Twinkie I Didn't Like...

I said something this morning that really got me thinking.  One of the reasons I'm more successful at lifestyle change this time is that I am finally...FINALLY...taking responsibility for all of my choices.  The front desk guy at the pool where I train knows me, knows my story and commented today that I'm so positive and upbeat, even though he knows I've got a ton of knee pain to overcome on a daily basis.  And I told him this:
"It comes down to this.  No one force fed me Twinkies!  I am responsible for the condition my body is in, and I'm the only one who can fix it."

Wow.

That's ownership, people!  And that's why I'll meet all my goals this time.  :-)

You Don't Know Your Limits...

...until you push past them!

I learned this lesson first hand tonight.  I have goals...lots of them.  And I focus on them every day.  But that's only part of this change.  The other part is being willing to push myself.  Farther.  Harder.  Through pain. I used to believe I knew what my limits were.  But what I'm learning more and more every day is that what I thought were my physical limits were really only mental ones.  And that's an important distinction.

My Own Independence Day...

My first running shoes...

My own independence day
...will come when I run as far and as fast as I want to run.
...is completely within my own control.
...will free my mind from the fear of unwanted limitations.
...is closer every day.
...will happen when I lose the belief that I can't do things and instead accept the reality that I can do whatever I want to do as long as I am willing to do what is necessary to make it happen.
...is the goal I aim at every time I put on my running shoes and work to make it reality.

Honestly, my own independence day began the day I made up my mind to MOVE!

-- Angie Haube, 7/4/11

Feeling a little poetic this July 4th!  Wrote this as a reminder to myself that I'm not where I was...but I'm also not where I want to be.  I've got some big goals yet to achieve...but make no mistake.  I will achieve them.

An Unexpected Lesson from Grad School...

If you follow me on Twitter or are a friend of mine on Facebook, you may remember that I spent a LONG week in class this week learning how to be an incredible teacher of American history.  This class is actually part of a 3 year program funded by a federal grant because our government has a vested interest in ensuring that our citizens are educated.  Overall, I'm very impressed by the program thus far, despite my frustration at the end of course exam I was subjected to on Friday afternoon!  (I won't rehash that...I'm just now getting over it...kinda!)  This afternoon, however, I had an unexpected moment of clarity where a very unintended lesson from this week was hammered home to me.  Thought I'd share it with you...

Gardening...and Learning

Small...but weed free!

I wrote this post on Facebook a few weeks back on June 4th.  Just re-read it this morning and decided to re-post it here...along with the update at the end.  Read on!!!

A New Month...New Goals!

One of the neatest lessons that I've learned along this journey has been one my friend Ben taught me.  Ben is a fitness junkie...as you would expect most personal trainers to be, I guess!  He once had a coach who taught him about being "better every day".  Ben, in turn, shared that nugget of wisdom with me.