Thursday, June 28, 2012

Coming Full Circle...

It's been a long 6 months.  Truly.

But today, for the first time in a long time, it felt like perhaps I was coming full circle...coming back to where I was when I hit the biggest milestone of my journey so far, the 100 pound weight loss.

I haven't really lost much since then.  In fact, after losing 8 pounds, I gained them back and have been teetering back and forth right around that 100 pound mark ever since. 

It's been frustrating.  Very.

But today, things were different.  Maybe it's not that "things" were different.  Maybe it's that I was different.

I had a much more positive attitude toward life in general, and my health in particular.  I was in a bit less pain that I have been lately, so I pushed myself a bit and walked extra steps, climbed several stairs several times on campus, and really took responsibility for what food I put in my body.

What do you want to bet that it shows on the scale in the morning?  I wouldn't bet against me on that, by the way.  One thing I've learned about my body is that it absolutely functions by one equation:

Eat Less + Move More = Lose Weight

That equation was in play for me today.  I'm praying that it's going to be tomorrow, too.  And the next day.  I'm ready to get myself back in the game.  No more maintaining.  It's time to work toward the rest of the goals I have for myself.  When I'm at a place that I love, that I want to stay, THEN I'll maintain.  But for now, there are miles to go and promises to keep.

See you in the gym, my friends!

Thursday, June 14, 2012


Ever hear 'em in your head?  You know the ones...

"You can't..."

      "You'll never..."

           "You're not..."

You wanna know something about that voice?

It's lying.

That thought liberated me today.  I found this positive quote on Facebook today, one of my go-to places when I need to connect and count my many blessings.  Who would have ever thought that the voices you hear in your head are out to sabotage you?  But sometimes, they are.

I have a friend who often tells me I need to change the script I feed myself about situations.  And he's right.  I tend to feed myself the most negative possible scenarios. 

But what if I didn't do that?

What if instead, I decided to change the script those voices feed me to a more positive one that sees me as a success instead of a failure?  I wonder how that might change my reality?

Today, it surely did. 

My knee was feeling good this morning, so I decided to go to the gym.  Once I got on the equipment, though, it started to freeze up a little bit and ache.  I almost stopped the workout in fear, but decided that the voice telling me this was dangerous was lying.  So I changed the script to something like this:

"My knee is sore because I have arthritis and I haven't worked out regularly lately.  After I get back into my routine, this pain won't be so bad.  Angie says it's good for me, and I trust her.  There's nothing dangerous about working out today, so I'm going to continue with the plan."

And then instead of stopping, I finished my mile on the elliptical...and switched to the stationary bike and did 20 more minutes...about 4 more miles.
And guess what?

I survived it.  No damage done.  In fact, I even added on an outdoor mile walk at lunchtime because it was such a beautiful day (and I had such good company!).

Now it's nearly bedtime, and my knees are not yelling at me.  And I have a feeling that my scale will be thanking me in the morning!

The lesson in all this? 

Don't trust the voices.  They lie.  Change the script!

Sunday, June 10, 2012

So Perhaps "Often" Should Have Waited Until AFTER School was Out!

So, ever make a commitment to do something more regularly...and then get challenged to keep it???  If so, you know where I'm coming from today!

No sooner did I publicly declare that I'd be on my blog more often and back in the gym, than my schedule totally BLEW UP on me!  That's real life for me, though.  It's always something!

I didn't keep either commitment, by the way.  It's been more than a week since I blogged...and I've only been to the gym one time in that same time period.  Not offering excuses...though there are many reasons why.  Just telling it like it is.

But here's something I noticed.  At first it may seem unrelated, but stick with me on this, OK? 

Yesterday, I saw that my rose bush was blooming for the second time this season.  The first time, it was stunningly beautiful.  Had hundreds of blooms on it for about a week.  And then something ATE it! 

You know me...Ms. Black Thumb...I don't grow stuff.  So don't ask me what ate it.  But something did.  Its leaves were filled with holes and bitemarks.  I'm thinking some sort of bug, but I don't want to imagine what kind it might be.  Because in addition to not growing things well, I'm deathly afraid of bugs and whatnot.  I was actually contemplating digging up the beautiful rose bush and discarding it for dead.  Or at the very least, pruning it WAY back to a small bush again to see if it might still have some life left in it. 

But yesterday, walking by it on my way into the house, I noticed something.  A bloom.  And new leaves...ones that haven't been chewed.  Something new is growing in the middle of the mess I haven't yet cleaned up. 

And that's how I feel about my life right now. 

Something new is growing in the middle of my mess.

Oh, I'm trying to clean the mess - the school year is over, and that will help.  My knees will thank me when I get back into Angie's office next week (or whenever she can see me!).  But my life is decidedly messy right now.

And still, something is growing.

So stay tuned.  I'll let you know the progress of the rose bush...and of my journey!  Thanks for taking the ride with me!


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