There's a Reason the Pros are the Pros...

...and it's because we need them to be!  I know for sure that I do!  I'm betting that's true for you, too...

I met the personal trainer at my new gym today.  Angie is still my first and best trainer, but this session with the personal trainer was free, and I have a difficult time turning down the things that are free in life!  Especially the ones that are good for me.  And Trainer Mike fits that category!

Here's the deal.  I told him my entire knee history, what I thought I could do, what I thought I couldn't do.  And then he told me how it was gonna be!  LOL!!  He made me understand that I could safely work out my entire body, including my legs, while still protecting my knees from injury.  He showed me a way to keep my knees safe and still work my legs, arms, shoulders, back, and most especially, my core. 

Just the training on this new equipment this morning (not nearly a full workout!) caused a good burn as I learned how to correctly use various pieces of gym equipment so that I could work them into my routine.  I know I only met him this week, and he doesn't know me nearly as well as I know myself, or as well as Angie does...but he DOES know exercise and fitness programs.  And he knew a lot about the structure of my knees...or at least he asked questions that made it sound like he knew what he was doing. I trust him that he's going to try to push me to be better every day and do it in a safe way.

So, I'm thanking God for all the knowledgeable, wise, dedicated professional people he's put in my path on this journey.  Without Angie, I know I'd never be where I am now.  She is nothing short of a blessing from God in my life!  Trainer Mike was a great help today.  My primary care doc and my orthopaedist have cared for me and helped me through the pain of arthritis and managing it.  I'm surrounded by some true pros...and I'm so grateful for their support on my journey!

Just a Plain Old Day...Thankfully!

I have a very good friend and former colleague who likes to say that, "Normal is just a setting on a dryer."  I love that phrase because it's pretty true..."normal" is pretty much non-existent, at least in my life.  But there are days like today that are just...plain old days.  And I needed that today.

My husband asked me about my day today.  I told him that it wasn't as bad as Monday and it wasn't as good as yesterday.  It was just a day.

The thing about those kinds of days for me, especially on this journey to wellness and good health, is that they remind me that part of this quest I'm on has to do with living a "normal" existence.  And altering my "normal" is a pretty important thing.  In fact, on days like today, I know that I've made great strides in doing that already. 

Today, I was moderately stressed, and the old "normal" would have been to eat my way through it.  That didn't happen today.  At all.  My new self just doesn't overeat often, and usually not to deal with stress.  I still have room to grow in this.  I do still emotionally eat at times.  But I don't mindlessly eat...just to relieve other emotions going on inside me.

So, today was just normal.  A plain old day.  And I'm so thankful that there's a new "normal" in my life.  Hoping you find yours, too!

And so it begins...again!

So, it's the day after!  And BOY...am I sore!!!  But it was a workout day in my schedule, and right after the 5K yesterday, I went and found a new gym to join.  So, off I went tonight to Planet Fitness! 

And it was a great workout!

There are still goals I've got that haven't been hit yet.  So now that I've hit one of my bigger ones by finishing that 5K, today I began again aiming at the rest of them.  Sore knees and all.  Based on the success I had yesterday...I'd say those goals are going to be hit, too.  It's really just a matter of time.  I believe that to the core of who I am.

Praying you hit your goals, too!  Let me tell you...it feels INCREDIBLE!!

What a Difference a Year Makes...

2010...

...and 2011!!!

The 2nd Annual Cougarthon 5K was this morning.  Last year, my dear friend and PT, Angie, ran the inaugural running of the event, along with my principal, my team leader, and a few of my students.

I volunteered at the event.  I love my school and do many things to support it.  But I hated helping at that event.

How to Be Competitive and Deal with Finishing Last...

You know what??  I've been struggling with this since I decided to do this 5K.  I am a hugely competitive person.  Always have been.  I had to stop wearing my pedometer for awhile.  The competitions this summer through my workplace were just too hard on me.  The team one especially was difficult because I got ugly and mean in my spirit when my teammates weren't pulling their weight...and I don't even know these people!  Who knows why they weren't walking as many steps as they needed to for us to do well?!?!  We finished mid-pack and I was ticked off for a few days. I get too caught up in the game sometimes, and I sure did with the pedometer that a lot of my colleagues and I wear.

So how, you might ask, am I going to handle finishing this 5K tomorrow pretty much dead last?  The answer is...I'm not really sure.  I have trained for this 5K, but it was interrupted this summer by an arthritis flare up that really impacted my ability to walk in general, much less 3 miles at a time.  And I can't run this race.  I might possibly jog parts of it, but I'm prepared to walk the entire thing...while most other people will run it and finish in less than half the time it's likely to take me.  I'm not going to be able to compete with those runners, no matter how badly I want to or try.

But there's a difference in my competitive nature this time that's new for me, and it feels very positive.  I found this quote recently, and it really struck a chord in me:

"I don't believe you have to be better than everybody else. I believe you have to be better

than you ever thought you could be." ~  Ken Venturi 

 

Tomorrow, I am not going to be better than everybody else.  Most of the people that start that 5K are going to run it.  I'm not.  I'm walking it...probably all of it.  And although there will be other people walking it (including the 2 that are walking it with me!), I'm not a particularly fast walker.  I really am convinced I'm going to be the last finisher.

 

But you know what?  I'm going to finish.  And THAT alone is me being better than I ever thought I could be.

 

That's how I'm handling it.  The person I'm competing with tomorrow is ME.  Not anyone else there who suits up, laces up the running shoes and aims for a personal best in the Cougarthon 5K.  For me, the personal best is starting and finishing that 5K...no matter how long it takes and how many people finish ahead of me.

 

Am I going to enjoy finishing last?  Probably not.  But am I going to enjoy FINISHING???  

 

ABSOLUTELY!!!

 

Stay tuned, my friends...I'm going to have some amazing things to tell you tomorrow!  But right now, I'm heading up to bed.  I've got a 5K to run in the morning!

68...

You know what?  68 is my new favorite number!!!

In a weekend that is going to be filled with milestones, here's one of the first.  That's MY name on the bottom of a race bib.

Being on this quest for a New Angie really has given me some extraordinary opportunities.  One of the best has been the chance to share this journey I'm on with my favorite 10 year olds.  Today, we talked about this in our morning meeting and they really got it.  They totally understood what this milestone means for me.  Yes, this is a race.  And yes, I'm probably going to finish FAR back in the pack.  (Actually, I'm prepared for dead last!)

But I win.  I win no matter what.  And one of my 10 year olds said it best...

"Mrs. Haube, the only way you don't win is if you don't start."

Amen, my love...AMEN!!!

Trust Your Body...

In a few more days...this is gonna be me.  Near the back there...with the walkers...but still.  I'm going to start...and finish...a 5K race!

And I'm scared.

The closer it gets, the more terrified I'm becoming, in fact.  Why?  Because I've made a big deal about this.  Especially about finishing it.  And until a few hours ago, I wasn't really sure that I could.  But now I am.

I did my last big workout before the "BIG DAY" tonight.  I'll work out a little bit tomorrow and Saturday.  But Sunday morning is my next big workout...the 5K!  So, since my gym randomly closed forever this week, I decided that I'd train the actual 5K course.  In my mind I thought that walking it myself today would be a good preparation for me...I'd see where the good spots for running are, if I choose to run any of it...but more than anything, I'd see if I've got enough in me to finish this race.  I'm absolutely positive that I'm going to be dead last finishing...unless my husband and Angie take pity on me and let me cross ahead of them (we're walking it together).  But I NEED TO FINISH.  I've made this a milestone moment for myself and I need to know that I can finish this race.

Persistence Pays Off!!!

Not too sure I could say it better than this. 

But tonight, I lived it.

I ran.

If you know me, you know that hasn't happened in a long time.

But I didn't give up the dream of this 5K...

no matter how awful the pain got this summer.

And I won't. Ever.

It doesn't matter how much closer the Big Race gets every day...

It doesn't matter how much less training I got this summer than I needed...

It doesn't matter how far away I feel from being prepared.

I persisted.

And tonight...

I ran.

When You're Ready for Your Moment of Deliverance...

I got to sing with a choir for the first time in a long time this week.  It was an amazing feeling!  Totally made up for the FAR less than amazing crud going on in the rest of my life this week.  Let's just say it was not one of my better weeks...by a long shot!

One song we sang during the worship service really hit home with me.  (Well, all of them did, actually...but this one was timely!)  The title was "Lift His Name Up", and the first line of the song says when you're READY for your moment of deliverance, lift His name up.  Even though I was singing that as part of the choir, I could just about feel God saying that to me. 

"When you're ready, Angie.  I'm still here."

"When you're ready to get serious, let's do this."

"When you're ready to do what you know it takes to stay healthy, let Me know."

I didn't really abandon my health goals this week.  Although a 3 pound weight gain sure does feel like it.  In fact, in all fairness, I hit some pretty amazing goals this week.  I walked my first full 5K and recovered nicely from it.  And I'm honestly fairly sure that I know what caused that 3 pound gain...and it's not something I can control, but it'll go away soon enough.  (Bad scale timing this morning!)

But here's the thing.  Life majorly distracted me this week. The stress of work especially captured my attention and distracted me from giving my full attention to the goals I have in front of me for healthy living. I ate OK...I exercised 3 days...I didn't indulge in too many "comfort" foods or emotionally eat.  Those are good things.  But not great things.  And I've been doing great lately.  This week...just OK.  And just OK isn't where I need to be right now.  Later, when it's time to maintain the weight loss instead of continue it, I can afford OK...but not now.  Now is time to keep it in high gear, not coast.

And God is calling me..."Hey...are you still with Me?  Are you ready for your moment of deliverance?  Cuz I've got this, Ang.  Just let Me do it in you."

And this week, I need to.  I've got some ground to make up.  BIG TIME!  There's a 5K in 7 days with my name on it. Time to get back on track.  Yes...I'm ready!!!

Recovery...

I decided not to go to the gym tonight.  It's not a normal gym night for me...so I really wouldn't have normally planned on being there anyway.  But I considered going because I have to sit in class tomorrow morning...when normally I'd be working out at the gym.

The reason I didn't go, however, is that I am still feeling a few effects from that full 5K I walked for the first time on Wednesday.  The great news, though, is that ice and rest really bring the pain right back down to 3/10...fairly normal life for me.  I expected to feel the effects a lot more profoundly than this...and I'm grateful that the impact has been minimal.  Woo HOO!!!

So the new plan is if the knees survive sitting in class for 6 hours tomorrow, I'm heading to the gym tomorrow NIGHT instead of tomorrow morning.  And let me tell you, after a full day of grad class...even as much as I LOVE learning new stuff...I'm gonna need the gym.  In a bad way!  So let's all pray the knees are cooperative!

I'll let you know tomorrow how it goes...

YES!!!!

Can she walk a 5K???

YES. SHE. CAN!!!!!

And, oh, MY, it feels SO GOOD!!!!

Next stop...Cougarthon 5K!

A Lesson in Self Control...

I have this poster hanging in my classroom.  I put it up every year in the hopes that my favorite 10 year olds will read it and it will somehow be absorbed into their little minds.  And today, I really feel like maybe it is.

One of my toughest little guys this year...the one who makes me want to visit Baskin Robbins on my way home nearly every day to recover from the war we wage for 7 hours a day...struggles mightily with this issue in particular.  When he doesn't get his way it's like walking on eggshells while I wait to see if he has a full-blown temper tantrum.  (Think 2 year old on the floor wailing and kicking his feet and you've got the right idea...sadly!)  Today, though, he was dealt a blow that ANY 5th grader would find difficult to bear...and yet, he took it...without a tantrum...and in the process taught me something about him and about myself.

I've Got a Confession to Make...

...I'm a nail biter!  I've been one for a very, very long time...as long as I can remember, really.  There have been times that I've gone as long as a few months without biting my nails off, but really this has been a problem for me from childhood forward.  I can't identify if I do it as a nervous thing, stress reliever, or some other reason.  I just do it.  I've tried many, many times to stop biting, and yet I always seem to come back to it, subconsciously it seems.  I'm often not even aware I'm doing it, until I start feeling the pain and look down to see I've chewed down too far.  That's how it went down this weekend.  I wasn't even attuned to what I was doing...I just chewed my nails off.  Not completely...just down really far.  Far enough that it hurts.

But now, I'm thinking about this habit.  Because you see, I used to have a bunch of other bad habits, too.  For example, I used to drown my emotions in food.  Today would have been a good day to do that!  Stressful to the max!  And yet...I didn't.  I went to the gym instead and worked myself until my knees told me to stop.  A decidedly better stress management technique than downing a quart of ice cream would have been!  I've changed the bad habit...when I never imagined I could.  So why tolerate the nail biting?

The answer to that is pretty evident.  I shouldn't.  I should look at each of the bad habits in my life one by one and refuse to allow them to dominate me.  I know that it takes a lot of focus and effort to break bad habits, and I don't know if I've got that kind of mental stamina right now.  I've got much bigger things on my plate right now that nail biting!  But I do believe that if I focused on this...or any other bad habit I have...I CAN change it. 

The only question in my mind is when will I?

What about you?  Got any bad habits you might need to look at?  Your answer is the same as mine.  Once you make up your mind to change it, you CAN do it.  You just have to decide that it's time.  Easier said than done, I know.  Me and my painful little fingers truly do understand! 

Praying for you all to defeat and reshape your worst habits...and hope you're praying for me to have success, too!!

One Day...

One day, the journey I'm on will be ended because I will have arrived.
One day, I will be where I want to be...WHO I want to be.
One day, I will shop in the grocery store and it will be second nature for me to make healthy choices that will benefit my body.
One day, I won't have to remind myself to drink water.
One day, I won't have to readjust my knees every time I stand from a seated position.
One day, going to the mall and shopping for hours, walking all around the mall as I enjoy the day, won't require me to ice my knees for hours afterwards.

I can see these things happening, more and more clearly every day.  "One day" used to feel like an unattainable dream for me.  Now, it feels like it's just around the corner.  Truly. 

Think about these "One day" statements I used to make not so long ago...

One day, I'll lose this weight.  Yup.  Doing it now.
One day, I'll make time to exercise.  Yup.  At least 4 times a week is my goal.
One day, my knees will hurt less.  Yup.  Happening a little bit at a time, but happening all the same.
One day, I'll be able to walk a mile.  Yup.  In two weeks, I'm about to walk 3.12 of them!
One day, I'll be the teacher I want to be, and not confined to my chair.  Yup.  You should see me...I'm all over that classroom these days!

Those statements weren't from a long time ago.  That's who I used to be.  Not so long ago, truthfully.  And if so many of my "One days" have already been accomplished, what's to stop the rest of them from becoming my reality, too? 

Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.

And let me tell you straight up.  If I can do this...if God is doing this in me...then I am absolutely confident that YOUR "One Days" can come to pass, too.  What's to stop them?

Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.

Finding Your Second Wind...

"Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second." ~  William James

I love this quote.  I've got it listed on my encouraging quotes page on this blog because right now, it's really speaking truth into my life.  I haven't had a hard workout this week since Monday morning. Too much to do...work, family, life.  I've been active, but nothing like a "don't stop 'til you drop" workout.  Just no time.


Until tonight.  Tonight I walked 2.35 miles in 45 minutes...did 150 crunches...and then some arm work.  I came home completely exhausted.  And I haven't felt that good in a long time!  

But I have to tell you...I almost stopped 1/2 hour into that walk.  It would've been a good walk at that point...about 1.75 miles or so.  Not horrible.  But not 2.35.  I felt like I was hitting the wall.  But I decided to just keep pushing through it.  My knees were feeling good (PRAISE GOD!!) and I needed to take advantage of that because it hasn't happened often enough lately and that 5K is looming large in about 2 weeks!

I call these moments where I just refuse...REFUSE...to give in "Cold Dead Fingers" moments.  As in, "The only way you're getting me off this treadmill is to pry my Cold Dead Fingers off of the bar."  So when I put my game face on and toughed it out, I discovered the truth of William James' quote.  You really DO have a second wind.  For me, it started at about 33 minutes into this walk.  I caught the second wind and it carried me all the way to the 45 minute mark that I had determined would be my end point tonight. 


And you know what I wonder now???  I wonder if I've got a third???  I have a feeling that I'm gonna find that out sometime soon.  I'm just sayin....!!!

You Have Not Because You Ask Not...

The past few days, my emotions have been taking a ride that looks a lot that roller coaster over there...up, down, twisting, turning, upside down!  I've got so many, many things going really well in my life right now.  But I've also got some very stressful things happening in my life right now, too.  Who doesn't, really?  Isn't that life for all of us?!  Well, I felt very overwhelmed by this yesterday and knew I needed help to handle it.  I was feeling slightly desperate, so I got online to my social networks and asked people who know me and love me to pray.  Just pray.  No need to know the circumstances...no need to have the details.  Just pray for me.  And guess what?  They did!  So many people responded to my request and let me know that they were lifting me up. I'm confident that more prayed without letting me know they were, too.

I was actually very stunned.  I know I have extraordinary friends.  The fact that they lavished such love on me was not a surprise at all!  But this is not something I do a whole lot...ask them to pray for me...or really to do anything for me.  I don't really ask for many things in life.  I usually feel pretty self-sufficient.  I offer to help a lot...but I seldom reach out for help myself. 

Just a Few More Little Things...

I've noted before that it's the little things on this journey that are meaning a lot to me.  I've had a few more little things happening lately that just feel SO GOOD!!!

Yesterday was filled with those little things, actually.  My friend and I went to a baseball game in D.C....not because I'm a Nats fan...but because I'm a HUGE fan of the band that was playing a free concert after the game!  Instead of driving down to the city, we decided to take the metro, and there began a series of little moments that just totally made my day.

The New Crew...and What They've Taught Me Already!

So, it's been a week!  In the past 10 days, we've survived an earthquake, a hurricane, and the first week of the new school year...which was far more formidable than either of those natural disasters, trust me!  There's a whole new crop of 10 year olds in my classroom these days...and while I'm sure that I'll eventually love them just as much as the 11 year olds I sent to middle school last June, these new friends are really pushing me toward greatness!  Why do I say that?  Because if I'm not great...they'll eat me alive!  They've got that potential.  I can sense it...and working to harness that power they possess and use it for good is going to be a challenge for quite some time.  If you know me, though, you'll know that it's an opportunity that I relish.  Why be good when greatness is within your reach?  Seems silly to settle for less!

Who Do You Think You Are???

I've got a really good intern this year...which is a big blessing!  She's great with the students and seems to be a real natural at teaching.  But what I love most about her is how she listens.  I happened to mention casually that I enjoy collecting quotes, and today she found me a doozy! 

"It's not who you are that holds you back.  It's who you think you're not." ~ Anonymous

First of all, let me say that if I were the one who first spoke this, I'd have claimed credit for it!  Come on Mr. (or Ms.) Anonymous!  This is an amazing quote!  You should have told us who you were so we could thank you!

And let me tell you...this quote is so, so true!!!  Our minds are incredibly powerful things. When we feed ourselves negatively phrased statements, we begin to believe them and live them.

"I'm not good at sticking to a diet." 
 No...you're not.
      "I'm not a runner." 
       No...you're not.
                "I'm not ever going to understand this."
                 No...you're not.
                         "I'm not gonna ever lose this weight."
                          No...you're not.
                                   "I'm not able to walk a mile."
                                    No...you're not.

What we think about ourselves and our abilities...who we are...is powerful.  When you think and say you can't or don't or won't or aren't...then you're right!  Attitude really is everything.  What you think determines what you are.  And what you're not.  What you tell yourself is who you will be.

So who do you think you are?  Do you see your value right here, right now in your present condition? Can you speak it with truth and conviction?  I sure hope so!  I'm still working on all this stuff myself.  But I know this...the more I can speak positivity into my life, the more it becomes who I am. 

It's not who I am that holds me back...it's who I think I'm not.  And really, friends...I'm becoming convinced the more I walk this journey...there's NOTHING I can't do and NO ONE I can't be if I want it badly enough.