Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Been Thinking More About Fences...

I've spent the past several days thinking (and praying) about whether building some fences to keep people out of my private life...being a little less transparent about who I am and my journey...is the right move for me as a person.  And here's what I've come up with.

I DO need a few more boundaries in my professional life, I think.  I'm a people pleaser (reforming).  I like everyone to like me, and the reality is that not everyone is going to like me.  Accepting that is difficult for me.  I need to get over this, I think.  Because I can't control how people perceive me, and to continue to be hurt by that is difficult.

However, here's the bigger conclusion I've come to.  I'd really rather be hurt than to shut myself off from feeling things for people.  Feeling means my heart is still tender, still open to others.  Being vulnerable is part of loving others.  And God says I can't love Him, who I can't see, if I don't love my brothers, who I can see.  My pastor actually preached on this Sunday...go figure!  God coming through right when I'm listening and waiting to hear from Him!

I am transparent in my life and my journey because I care.  I care about helping people.  I care about people in general.  I love easily...which sadly means I get burned from time to time.  It's still worth it.  In the end, the people who care about me are going to stick around, and those that don't really care won't.  And I'm OK with that.  At least right here, right now I am.  Let's hope it stays that way!

Thanks for taking the journey with me...


  1. There is nothing wrong with being "all-in" and caring about people is always a risk worth taking. I'm proud of you for taking the risk. Put in place the boundaries that you need. To share what you are learning takes courage. IMHO, a person will be happiest when they are living out their your deepest held values. Bravo!

  2. Jason...thank you. And you know me well, my friend. Loving others is a very deeply held value. It's not serving me so well professionally, sadly, and I do need to figure out how to be who I am at heart and not have others perceive me as phony, fake, "wearing rose colored glasses" - whatever you want to call it. (I've actually been called ALL of those!) But in the end, shutting out people to avoid the hurt that comes from false perception just isn't who I am. I have added a few boundaries in my life that weren't there before...filters maybe more than boundaries...but I'm satisfied that I've examined myself openly and honestly and have reached conclusions that work for me. And I'm grateful for friends like you that care for me no matter what. That's a real privilege to have that...one that I try hard to never take for granted. Thanks for the love, brother!


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